eSpecially Ben

  An art project we did at Ben's group home this summer. Ben moved into an Easterseals group home on September 12, 2022. Today, we celebrate one year with him not just living there, but thriving. Ben's formed friendships with his housemates and the staff who work there.  The move to this Easterseals group home was his second time moving out of our house. In 2021, Ben moved to Greensboro, 90 minutes from our home in Charlotte, North Carolina. He'd been living in an AFL - alternative family living - situation through a different agency. It didn't work out. For more details, read  here . The day program has a living room for activities and relaxing. Ben moved home for six months while we searched for another living situation for him. During this time, we found an incredible day program. I happened to see a post on Facebook with photos of happy individuals involved in all sorts of community activities. I connected with the staff, and Ben started in June 2022.  Swimming a...

  "Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities" is a series on eSpeciallyBen. As Ben approached 18, it was clear our role changed as parents. We needed to help Ben transition into adulthood. These stories are meant to assist other families who face, or will face, some of the same challenges. Talking About the Future Guest Post - Matt Wilson Legal Guardianship, Medicaid and SSI Researching Group Homes Questions to Ask at a Group Home Visit Referral Packet for Group Homes Getting Assistance from a Care Manager From Group Home Placement to Discharge Reaching for Independence

  In 2012, the editor of Charlotte Parent asked me to write a short story about Ben for the magazine's April issue. " A Goal of Independence " was my first published piece and the beginning of my career as a professional writer.  When I wrote the story, Ben was 8-years-old. At the time, I recognized how important it was for us to assist Ben in becoming independent. As a mom, it's hard to let go and easy to just do the task for them. I shared an example in the Charlotte Parent story: Ben's brothers scolded me for feeding Ben, rather than letting him feed himself  Ben is almost 19-years-old. He’s lived 90 miles away from us for six months in an alternate family living situation. Although we visited him two to three times a month, I didn't notice how much he matured until we brought him home in mid-March.  He's calmer, more alert and attentive. We've been able to decrease behavior and sleep medications significantly. We'd tried this in 2020 with disa...

  Ben with Carla Payne, January 2022 When I was a student at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte 30 years ago, I worked in the Alumni Office. Carla Wyatt Payne was the assistant director of Alumni Affairs and my boss. We became friends and have been part of each other's lives ever since. She and another friend were the first ones at the hospital when Ben was born. I asked Carla to write about what she does as a care manager. The care managing profession is an invaluable resource to families who need assistance managing the care of loved ones. – Vanessa By Carla Wyatt Payne I became a Certified Professional Care Manager following the death of my father. As a family, we struggled to navigate the medical health care system. We couldn't afford services or find support for my dad's advancing needs. The month after his death, I returned to graduate school to study gerontology and discovered the profession of care management.  Since 2010 I've worked with over 500 fam...