About Us

Sean, 2; Michael, 5, and Ben, 7

2009

This blog is about our journey through the world of a child with special needs. By sharing our experiences we hope to help other families who may be in the same situation. Ben is a sweet energetic redhead with two younger brothers, Michael and Sean. My husband, Ryan, and I try to keep up with them. These stories are intended to shed insight into our lives and also pass on the wisdom we have earned over the past several years.

When I started to write at eSpecially Ben, my intention was to help other families who may be experiencing similar situations while raising a child with special needs. To my surprise, the site has grown to a place where I learn along with my readers as new issues develop. While relying on my inspiration, our son Ben, I take one day at a time. eSpecially Ben tries to show all the sides of parenting a child with special needs - some posts make readers cry, laugh and on a really good day, think.

Ryan and Vanessa married in 1998.

Ryan and I met at college - he was a freshman and I was a senior. We eventually started dating and married several years later. My educational background is in working with college students. Before children, I coordinated leadership and personal development activities in the Student Life Office at the local university. I continued working part-time when Ben was born, but it was too difficult because evening and weekend hours were required when working with the college population, so I eventually quit altogether.

Writing has proven to be a great way for me to share my feelings and express my emotions. And in the process, I have made amazing connections with so many other families. I hope to continue writing and perhaps pursue other subjects, even fiction, in the future.

2022 Update

Our boys are teenagers now: Ben is almost 19; Michael is 17 and Sean is 14. Since 2012, I've been writing professionally for regional and national outlets about art, business, parenting and travel. Read my stories here: Vanessa Infanzon

We are always learning and as Ben transitions to adulthood, the stakes seem higher. I've started a new series, "Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities." The first post is here: Talking about the future.

Happy reading!

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities

"Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities" is a series on eSpeciallyBen. As Ben approached 18, it was clear our role changed as parents. We needed to help Ben transition into adulthood. These stories are meant to assist other families who face, or will face, some of the same challenges. Talking About the Future Guest Post - Matt Wilson Legal Guardianship, Medicaid and SSI Researching Group Homes Questions to Ask at a Group Home Visit Referral Packet for Group Homes Getting Assistance from a Care Manager From Group Home Placement to Discharge Reaching for Independence

Make this Race Amazing

Mecklenburg County's Therapeutic Recreation's Amazing Race is Saturday, March 24, 2012. All funds raised go directly to the scholarship fund for summer camp. Summer Camp is 8 weeks long with over 150 children with special needs participating. Last year, over $6,500 was given away in scholarships. In times of budget cuts and loss of resources, Amazing Race is a creative way for the staff to raise money for the children who may need financial assistance attending camp. I will be posting photos from 2011 camp. I am only posting photos that do not show faces of the children, but you will get the idea about how much they enjoy the activities. You don't have to see their smiles, you just have to feel them. The staff have sent me their thoughts on how they feel about camp and I will be posting those as well. Most are trained as recreational therapists and have devoted their life's work to helping children and adults with special needs learn skills, make friends, de...

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities: From Group Home Placement to Discharge

Last August, we moved Ben into an alternative family living (AFL) placement, about 90 minutes from our home in Charlotte. It was a three-bedroom house and Ben was given the largest bedroom with its own bathroom. A typical AFL in North Carolina operates like this: a person with disabilities, the client, moves in with another family, couple or an individual. The client lives in the family’s home and the family receives payment in return for housing, feeding and caring for the client. Ben’s AFL was unusual: A couple with extensive caregiving experience wanted to run a three-bed group home but needed to apply for the license through the state. They were willing to take Ben as the first resident in a house, separate from the one they lived in. The plan, according to the couple, was to get approval for the group home within a couple of months. We ordered Ben a double bed, headboard, 54-inch television, new sheets, towels and blankets. Friends helped us move him in....

eSpecially Ben

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