Skip to main content

eSpecially Parents: Tribute to Donna

This week I learned that one of our eSpecially Parents writers, Donna, passed away in November. She had battled breast cancer a few years ago, but it apparently came back quickly. I was last in touch with Donna in mid-September, but after that, the eSpecially Parents Series took a back burner in my life, and I lost touch with her.

I met Donna when her son Ben was in preschool with my son Ben. Her son was known as B.O. and ours was B.M. Besides the silly initials and same name, both boys were not mobile. Donna was going through a rough time in her life with her soon-to-be ex-husband, and we were both dissatisfied with the education and services our Bens were receiving at the school. I felt an instant connection to Donna, and we talked when we could. Donna's Ben had a smile that drew you in. I knew that despite his mobility issues, he loved people and craved attention. He was not a child to be written off or shoved in a corner. And Donna knew this - her love for him was obvious.

Our Ben left the preschool abruptly after some particularly bad care, and I lost touch with Donna. I always wondered about Ben and Donna. I had tried to call a few times, but she had a lot going on and it was hard for her to stay in touch.

Years later at a local children's library, our Ben found the other Ben and Donna sitting on a bench. My mom was with me and we all gave hugs to one another (my mom had met Ben and Donna at the preschool). The connection we felt with this family was full of love. I was so happy to have found Donna, and we then stayed in touch through email and some phone conversations. When I started the eSpecially Parents Series, she was a person whose story needed to be shared. Her perspective was different than other families I knew.

If you have not read Donna's story, please read it here. Her love and devotion to Ben is clear in her words:

Donna's Story
Ben is in the care of his grandparents right now. If you send prayers to heaven, God or your own special place, please include Ben and his family in them.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities

  "Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities" is a series on eSpeciallyBen. As Ben approached 18, it was clear our role changed as parents. We needed to help Ben transition into adulthood. These stories are meant to assist other families who face, or will face, some of the same challenges. Talking About the Future Guest Post - Matt Wilson Legal Guardianship, Medicaid and SSI Researching Group Homes Questions to Ask at a Group Home Visit Referral Packet for Group Homes Getting Assistance from a Care Manager From Group Home Placement to Discharge Reaching for Independence

Make this Race Amazing

Mecklenburg County's Therapeutic Recreation's Amazing Race is Saturday, March 24, 2012. All funds raised go directly to the scholarship fund for summer camp. Summer Camp is 8 weeks long with over 150 children with special needs participating. Last year, over $6,500 was given away in scholarships. In times of budget cuts and loss of resources, Amazing Race is a creative way for the staff to raise money for the children who may need financial assistance attending camp. I will be posting photos from 2011 camp. I am only posting photos that do not show faces of the children, but you will get the idea about how much they enjoy the activities. You don't have to see their smiles, you just have to feel them. The staff have sent me their thoughts on how they feel about camp and I will be posting those as well. Most are trained as recreational therapists and have devoted their life's work to helping children and adults with special needs learn skills, make friends, de...

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities: From Group Home Placement to Discharge

  Last August, we moved Ben into an alternative family living (AFL) placement, about 90 minutes from our home in Charlotte. It was a three-bedroom house and Ben was given the largest bedroom with its own bathroom.  A typical AFL in North Carolina operates like this: a person with disabilities, the client, moves in with another family, couple or an individual. The client lives in the family’s home and the family receives payment in return for housing, feeding and caring for the client.  Ben’s AFL was unusual: A couple with extensive caregiving experience wanted to run a three-bed group home but needed to apply for the license through the state. They were willing to take Ben as the first resident in a house, separate from the one they lived in. The plan, according to the couple, was to get approval for the group home within a couple of months.  We ordered Ben a double bed, headboard, 54-inch television, new sheets, towels and blankets. Friends helped us move him in....