Skip to main content

eSpecially Parents July Edition: Natalie's Story

When Mark and I first starting thinking about having another child, we were hoping to have a diagnoses for Sophia so we would know what to test for during the next pregnancy. Despite seeing many specialists and having her DNA tested in the Netherlands, we had no answers. At that point we realized we may never get any answers. Mark and I believe that it was a spontaneous genetic change that occurred at the very beginning stages of development. There is a one percent chance that it can happen to anyone. We decided not to wait for any answers.

The decision to have another child was very easy for us. We were scared but we knew we wanted more children. We had several high level ultrasounds and at 16 weeks pregnant we found out that Alex was a healthy baby boy. The picture was clear as day. The moment the 3D image of his face popped up on the screen a ton of fear was lifted. As time would go by, I would start to get scared again. My doctor let me get an ultrasound anytime I felt nervous or just needed reassurance that everything was ok.


Before Alex, caring for Sophia was all I knew, hard work doing therapy to build strength, doing small medical procedures, major surgeries, recovery and long feeding sessions were our normal. When I had Alex everything was a piece of cake. Alex is an amazing baby. He has been so easy to care for. Alex has always been a good sleeper, eater and transitions have been effortless. He is the exact kind of baby we needed in our lives. Mark and I feel so lucky to have Alex. He seems to balance everything in our lives perfectly.


Life has definitely changed since Alex was brought into our world. We feel so lucky to be able to experience a typical child. At times there are two sets of emotions for me. As I watch things come so easy for Alex I feel so much happiness but at the same time I feel sadness for Sophia. I wish she didn't have to work so hard and experience so much pain just to be able to do simple things. When I take Alex out and about I feel guilty that Sophia cannot always go with us since she is medically fragile. I feel great when strangers come up to me and tell me how adorable Alex is. I also feel angry at times, thinking if I had Sophia with me instead, that same person would just avoid us, stare or make a rude comment.

These thoughts and emotions have gotten better with time but I know they will always be there. It is only natural for me to want Sophia to have the same experiences Alex does. Majority of the time I feel happiness for both children. They are lucky to have each other.


Alex gives his sister daily kisses and will cry if he can't get to her. Alex is such a sweet and funny boy. He entertains Sophia and makes her laugh. Her talking, strength and mobility have increased since Alex has been moving around and talking. I think he motivates her to want to do it too.


Sophia has been great for Alex too. He doesn't look at Sophia in any other way than his big sister. He will grow up a sensitive and compassionate human being. He will not think twice about another person because of their differences. We think he is going to be one amazing person because of Sophia.


I feel so lucky to have two amazing babies. The experiences have been very different but the thing that remains the same is the happiness and joy they bring me.


New to the eSpecially Parents Series? Catch up here.

Comments

  1. Natalie,
    You are such a strong woman! Alex & Sophia are so blessed to have you and Mark as their parents. I am in tears as I read this. You inspire me to be a better mother and human being. Thank you.
    ~Cristina Curcuru Davis

    ReplyDelete
  2. Once again, a post that shows how amazing you are! Thank you. They are such blessed little ones to have you as their mama. Loved reading this. Thank you ! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can never read these without crying! You are so blessed to have Alex & Sophia and they are so LUCKY to have such wonderful parents. I feel very privileged to have them both in my life.

    Love auntie JuJu

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thank you for reading my post. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. If you wish to contact me directly, please let me know and I will email you.

Popular posts from this blog

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities

  "Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities" is a series on eSpeciallyBen. As Ben approached 18, it was clear our role changed as parents. We needed to help Ben transition into adulthood. These stories are meant to assist other families who face, or will face, some of the same challenges. Talking About the Future Guest Post - Matt Wilson Legal Guardianship, Medicaid and SSI Researching Group Homes Questions to Ask at a Group Home Visit Referral Packet for Group Homes Getting Assistance from a Care Manager From Group Home Placement to Discharge Reaching for Independence

Make this Race Amazing

Mecklenburg County's Therapeutic Recreation's Amazing Race is Saturday, March 24, 2012. All funds raised go directly to the scholarship fund for summer camp. Summer Camp is 8 weeks long with over 150 children with special needs participating. Last year, over $6,500 was given away in scholarships. In times of budget cuts and loss of resources, Amazing Race is a creative way for the staff to raise money for the children who may need financial assistance attending camp. I will be posting photos from 2011 camp. I am only posting photos that do not show faces of the children, but you will get the idea about how much they enjoy the activities. You don't have to see their smiles, you just have to feel them. The staff have sent me their thoughts on how they feel about camp and I will be posting those as well. Most are trained as recreational therapists and have devoted their life's work to helping children and adults with special needs learn skills, make friends, de...

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

After my post, Brotherly Love , I received an email from a reader who reminded me of this song. I knew the song, but had never really thought about the words and the meaning behind them. I looked it up and thought others might see the lyrics in a new light.   He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother The road is long With many a winding turn That leads us to who knows where Who knows when But I'm strong Strong enough to carry him He ain't heavy, he's my brother. So on we go His welfare is of my concern No burden is he to bear We'll get there For I know He would not encumber me If I'm laden at all I'm laden with sadness That everyone's heart Isn't filled with the gladness Of love for one another. It's a long, long road From which there is no return While we're on the way to there Why not share And the load Doesn't weigh me down at all He ain't heavy, he's my brother. He's my brother He ain't h...