Skip to main content

Leading the Way

Logan has a list of jobs to do each morning, ranging from putting away the clean dishes to making his bed. As he gets older, I intended to add more responsibilities to his list of jobs. Then it occurred to me that a long list of items to complete and check-off is not exactly what I want to teach my children. I want them to develop the ability to decide what needs to be done and then do it while gaining independence and a sense of worth through setting and completing their own goals. Completing a list someone else gives you will only get you so far in life.

I thought of two areas that I think are the most important for a five year old - Taking Initiative and Finding Solutions. After asking my husband what he thought of my idea and getting a kind of crazy look, I went ahead with my plan. Once I get something in my head, there's no stopping me.

Since that day, my husband has seen the wisdom of this idea and makes a point to talk about our two initiatives with Logan. 

When I talked with Logan about Taking Initiative and Finding Solutions, I gave him simple ideas (like picking up a piece of paper on the floor and throwing it out) and then whenever he did something in one of those areas, we gave him a lot of praise. Logan even started to point out his good deeds. Believe it or not, (because I know some of you are reading this and thinking I am nuts) Logan liked the idea. After all he was being given responsibility, decision making power and independence.

One day after we introduced these concepts, Brooke, one of Ben's new CAP (Community Alternative Programs) workers was coming to our house to help. Without being asked, Logan showed Brooke a few activities that we do with Ben. He facilitated Ben putting the shapes on the sorter, giving Ben props when he was successful and showing him the way to do it if Ben had a hard time.


What Logan taught Brooke was something either I would have had to do or asked another CAP worker to do. Logan was thoughtful, positive and creative. He also was mild mannered with Brooke, showing her what to do without being too bossy or pushy.

We may have set our expectations too low when we gave Logan the example of seeing trash and throwing it out because clearly he has taken it to another level.



2 Weeks More: Please take a moment to vote.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities

  "Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities" is a series on eSpeciallyBen. As Ben approached 18, it was clear our role changed as parents. We needed to help Ben transition into adulthood. These stories are meant to assist other families who face, or will face, some of the same challenges. Talking About the Future Guest Post - Matt Wilson Legal Guardianship, Medicaid and SSI Researching Group Homes Questions to Ask at a Group Home Visit Referral Packet for Group Homes Getting Assistance from a Care Manager From Group Home Placement to Discharge Reaching for Independence

Make this Race Amazing

Mecklenburg County's Therapeutic Recreation's Amazing Race is Saturday, March 24, 2012. All funds raised go directly to the scholarship fund for summer camp. Summer Camp is 8 weeks long with over 150 children with special needs participating. Last year, over $6,500 was given away in scholarships. In times of budget cuts and loss of resources, Amazing Race is a creative way for the staff to raise money for the children who may need financial assistance attending camp. I will be posting photos from 2011 camp. I am only posting photos that do not show faces of the children, but you will get the idea about how much they enjoy the activities. You don't have to see their smiles, you just have to feel them. The staff have sent me their thoughts on how they feel about camp and I will be posting those as well. Most are trained as recreational therapists and have devoted their life's work to helping children and adults with special needs learn skills, make friends, de...

Parenting an Adult Child with Disabilities: From Group Home Placement to Discharge

  Last August, we moved Ben into an alternative family living (AFL) placement, about 90 minutes from our home in Charlotte. It was a three-bedroom house and Ben was given the largest bedroom with its own bathroom.  A typical AFL in North Carolina operates like this: a person with disabilities, the client, moves in with another family, couple or an individual. The client lives in the family’s home and the family receives payment in return for housing, feeding and caring for the client.  Ben’s AFL was unusual: A couple with extensive caregiving experience wanted to run a three-bed group home but needed to apply for the license through the state. They were willing to take Ben as the first resident in a house, separate from the one they lived in. The plan, according to the couple, was to get approval for the group home within a couple of months.  We ordered Ben a double bed, headboard, 54-inch television, new sheets, towels and blankets. Friends helped us move him in....