Back in the Saddle

I received an email today from a long time friend and former colleague who offered me the opportunity to facilitate a portion of a retreat for a group of college students traveling to Guatemala on a mission trip in March. When I worked at the local university, I did this for her every year for at least 6 years. Once Ben was born and I cut my hours back and then eventually quit all together, I stopped leading these activities. I cannot say I missed it. I had too many other things to do.

But when I received the email, I wrote back "Yes!" immediately, without consulting husband or calendar. I contacted the partner I worked with on this retreat and found out that he was delighted I was willing to do it again. He has been doing it solo for the past several years.

I have already come up with a sample agenda and activities. To my surprise I had fresh, creative and thoughtful ideas. As a stay at home mom, being around children most of the day, and focusing on home and family, it begins to feel like doing something else is out of reach. I feel that people who only know me as mom and wife, who never knew me when I had a career, look at me in a different way. It is my own insecurities that I feel this way. But dammit, sometimes I want to say that I have done stuff too - I have important skills other than changing a diaper in less than a minute and...well that's all I can think of.

So I am excited at this opportunity to get back into the game, even if it is just this once for now. As the boys get older and some things become more manageable, I hope to branch out and work more. For today, I am just happy that I am still remembered as a competent leadership facilitator.