eSpecially Ben

On the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, one of the moms in our family group facilitated a story time and craft project with ten children. The book was about the Thanksgiving Holiday. The mom, a former kindergarten teacher, did a great job of getting each child and parent to tell the group what they were thankful for this year. Children, husbands, family, friends, toys and brothers were some of the things mentioned. My four-year-old was thankful for his bones and the whole world. The group also sang a song, Ten Little Indians . Then they made Native American Headdress with construction paper, markers, glue and feathers. Although Ben helped make the headdress, he was adamant about not wearing it. Logan, his brother, is modeling it in the photo above.

Ben was invited to a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party last Saturday. He was using his walker to get around. Within the first few minutes, I spotted the Bob the Builder/Scoop Ride and led Ben in that direction. Let me give you Ben's history with Bob and this ride. Ben is the BIGGEST Bob the Builder fan that has ever lived. He owns just about every movie, piece of clothing, bedding and doll, and has seen "Bob Live" on stage. At the last Chuck E. Cheese party he attended, Ben spent two hours on the ride, and he gave Bob a big kiss at one point. I was not there for that party so I wanted to see Ben's reaction today. So back again to Chuck E. Cheese. When Ben was about four feet from the ride, he stopped and decided he did not need a walker. He let go and took 2-3 steps on his own before falling and hitting the ride with his head. Let me say it again: Ben took 2-3 steps on his own. I was behind Ben when it all happened, and I was concentrating on him falling that I r...

"An Extraordinary Pose" This may look like a very ordinary photo, but it is not. Ben is standing at the table on his own. Ben is six years old and it has taken him years of hard work, determination and many falls to get to this point. Even we, as his parents, will eventually take this photo for granted and not remember when this was such a struggle for him. But right now, I relish in the fact that he can get up on his own and try to steal a bit of his brother's lunch! Special Exposure Wednesday is a wonderful way for families to share inspirational photos with others. Each week dozens of sites will post their photos - please check them out.

We are so fortunate right now to have a group of therapists working with Ben that are incredible. They are motivated to work with Ben, and they create a fun atmosphere while still challenging him. In turn, Ben is working the hardest he ever has and without many tantrums and poor behavior. For the first time, I am not on the lookout for a new therapist. The “Dream Team” comes to our house every Wednesday to co-treat speech and occupational therapy. Ben is genuinely excited to see them when they walk through the door. When you take his hands to walk, he leads you to his room for therapy to begin. Using behavior and play therapy, and combining speech and occupational therapy techniques, they have come up with a solid format for each session. They use a token board to reward his work and when it is complete, Ben can watch 2-3 minutes of a video. They have had to be flexible too. One sunny day, Ben did not want to leave the front porch, they changed the plan to an outside therapy session....

Ben, Age 6 Ben brought these pieces of artwork home on Friday. I am excited to have Thanksgiving decorations to put around the house! These will be keepers.

When Ben started school when he was two years old, my mom said, what I thought at the time was, the strangest thing. She said, “Make sure Ben always looks neat and is clean.” Like any daughter might, I thought she was crazy. Why of course Ben will be neat and clean, I would never let him out of the house any other way. Four years later, I still think about that comment. I make sure that Ben looks his best everyday – his hair is neat, clothes clean. There was a time when I gave Ben a bath every morning before school so his hair looked just right, but I gave that up after son #3 was born. And I realized it was a bit obsessive too. Now I keep his hair short and he gets a bath and a shampoo every night. Ben does have beautiful yet unruly hair. Our children with special needs may look and act differently, raise eyebrows and get stares. The last thing we want is for their hair to be a mess, clothes dirty or disheveled. I get what my mom was saying - Ben's different, but don't mak...

My friends and I were saying the other day how easy Carol Brady had it on the TV show “The Brady Bunch.” She had Alice to grocery shop, make the kids lunches, do laundry and housework. If I had an Alice, my mornings would be calm, not the tornado-like, clock-watching, running around, losing-my-mind type that I face every morning. On Friday as Ben was getting on the bus, I commented to the bus driver that I may have overdressed him because it is hot outside. The bus driver looked at me funny and said that it was very cold out. Then I realized I had run a mini-marathon inside my house digging up shoes, chewies, coats, breakfast dishes, homework and anything else that fell in my path. With that being said, I do have a routine to help us have good mornings. And to my credit, we have never missed the bus yet, although we have come mighty close. Here are some simple tips I follow for a successful* morning at our house: • Plan the clothes out the night before. I set everything up so that I...

In October, Bendigo at Bendigo's Rage bestowed The One Lovely Blog Award upon me. It is a wonderful way for blogger's work to be appreciated and at the same time increase readership. At the very least, it makes someone feel very special to be chosen, I know I did. There are rules to this award: 1. Accept the award; 2. Post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link; 3. Pass the award on to 15 other blogs that you've newly discovered; and 4. Contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award. Instead of posting all 15 blogs at once, I am listing a few at a time. I said in an earlier posting that I do take this seriously so I have been reading to find what blogs I want to list. I have found a few more. These blogs were chosen because I found them interesting in content, the writer's background is different (than me) and after going through blog after blog, they made me st...

Fall Leaves by Ben, age 6 Magic Marker Monday is a creation through  5 Minutes for Special Needs , a website full of information, blogs and discussion groups. One way to celebrate life is to see it through art, and this site helps us share our children's creative masterpieces. Please check out the site. Ben used Crayola Twistables Slick Stix - super smooth to create this art work. It is hard for Ben to put pressure on paper, but these crayons are magical. All Ben has to do is touch the paper with the crayon and a large mark is made. I bought them at Target for a reasonable price! I cannot take credit for finding them, Ben's teacher discovered them and I got some for use at home. And as long as I am confessing, he did this artwork at school too. Enjoy!

I am not talking about sugar-free candy, no calorie cakes or eating your way through the holidays with celery and carrot sticks. I am talking about getting rid of the pressures we all put on ourselves to have wonderful, perfect holidays for our families and children. There are ways to make life simpler during this hectic time. Most of us avoid them because it may mean taking a risk and changing the way things have always been done (and our mother might yell.) Here are some ideas that have worked for us: Gifts – I know for our son, Ben, who has little interest in toys, finding presents for him to open during the holidays is a challenge. The little voice in my head keeps saying, “What will Ben open? What will Ben get excited about?” Changing our expectations of Ben being excited about gifts helped quite a bit. We ask grandparents to pay for tickets to the circus, which unexpectedly has become a tradition. Some of the best gifts for Ben are movie passes and gift cards for ice cream...

In 2006, three families started a neighborhood club. At that time, our main reason for forming was to setup a babysitting cooperative. I would watch their child one afternoon and then they would repay me the next day or week. The group has since grown to 25 families, a website, guidelines and all types of activities and annual traditions. Today, school was out so I put out an invitation for parents to come over with their kids to make turkeys using felt, feathers and glue. In the end, the house was full of seven boys and one girl – running around, creating turkeys and watching movies. Ben was in the mix of all this, although he absolutely refused to make a turkey or watch Peter Pan. He followed the crowd or spent time in his room watching “Bob”, depending on his mood. On three separate occasions, Ben pulled the little girl’s hair. In his defense, she has lovely hair and the first two times, it was within inches of his hands. The last time, she had learned her lesson and sat a dist...

Let me start this off by saying that I am the kind of person who will make a “to do” list that will include “Plan something spontaneous.” And I see nothing wrong with that. I received a call two weeks ago from my son’s case manager. Her supervisor, as part of her graduate school work, started a non-profit organization, called HOPE (Helping Outcomes for Parents with Exceptional children.)   The mission of HOPE is to promote healthy relationships for parents of children with disabilities by providing opportunities to engage in activities within their community. Providing parents with the opportunity to embrace and renew their partnerships to be strong for their children and maintaining the family unit. (Taken from their brochure.)   So the call I was getting was to ask if my husband and I would be willing to go on short notice the next week - Thursday and Friday to Myrtle Beach. I didn’t say, “Hell, YES!” – I am way too polite for that, but you bet your ______, I was thin...

A few things happened yesterday that amazed me. At our neighborhood Halloween Festival, Ben was taking his usual rest from his walker by plopping down on the ground. His 1½ year old brother came up to him and offered his hands to help Ben get up. Then Raggs  arrived. He is a 7 foot tall dog who has his own show on PBS. Ben watches this show often. When it came to Ben’s turn to give Raggs a hug, he would not let go. I mean he really would not let go. Ben was giving Raggs probably the best hug he has ever received. After peeling Ben away, Raggs kept coming back to Ben for more hugs. Their final farewell was sad to watch, Ben did not want to leave. I was amazed by the kindness that both Sean and Raggs showed Ben. It started me thinking about how many people helped us get through Ben’s surgery and week of recovery. We had friends who picked up Logan from school, brought us dinner and told us to call if we needed anything. Grandparents offered to help. My sister sent a gift card to ...